The Rules

Last  year I discovered the Velominati site while following a link to the The Rules provided by a riding buddy. While initially I found the site humorous as it is primarily geared towards roadies or at least the initial perception, but with winter I browsed the site a bit more and started reading more.

But the true getting hooked moment was when they posted 2 articles last January. Dirty Innovators initially with it’s look at what roadies brought over from mountain biking. But it was the Anatomy of A Photo: A Screen Grab from A Golden Age that got me hook line and sinker. Remember I’m the resident old man here and remember when John Tomac raced with drop bars and looking at pic’s of Jacquie Phelan hammering Otto in mags like Fat Tyre Flyer. Well…obviously a sight that holds reverence for icons like Ned Overend, Tomes, and Tinker Juarez must be worth it. Add in that one of the Velominati founders owns a classic mountain bike Bridgestone MB0  that he rebuilt with classic parts but also rides it.

Then came the announcement of The Rules Coming out in book form. And of course being a cyclist had to add it to the collection.

Clear as Mud

The book adds more details that better explain the rules. Which when you think about can help clarify something if you are a bit unclear. Plus gives us some good reading material during winter or when one feels like reading.  But some things do not need clarification like the universal  Rule #9 because it is self explanatory.

And of course  Rule 9 goes hand in hand with Rule 5 aka The HTFU rule. Though I could just being grouchy because one gets tired of hearing the usual comments about winter.

Rule 5 Compliant

Yet while there are some that are definitely roadie oriented there are some rules that are valid in mountain biking as well as road. However there are many rules that are just as valid in the dirt world as the road. And to give one a taste of two….

Rule #62 
// You shall not ride with earphones.
Cycling is about getting outside and into the elements and you don’t need to be listening to Queen or Slayer in order to experience that. Immerse yourself in the rhythm and pain, not in whatever 80′s hair band you call “music”.

Rule #83

// Be self-sufficient.
Unless you are followed by a team car, you will repair your own punctures. You will do so expediently, employing your own skills, using your own equipment, and without complaining that your expensive tyres are too tight for your puny thumbs to fit over your expensive rim. The fate of a rider who has failed to equip himself pursuant to Rule #31, or who knows not how to use said equipment, shall be determined at the discretion of any accompanying or approaching rider in accordance with Rule #84.17

Unfortunately it is hard to explain and describe  The Rules or  The Lexicon because in truth it is something one has to read. It’s like when asked how does one explain why we ride bikes in the woods? You try, but you know that really you can’t because unless they experience it there is no way to as they say get it.

No Kit Confusion Here

And one has to acknowledge that The Velominati have a love for both the road and dirt worlds of cycling. But as Walter Sobchak implied…there are rules. And they have brought us rules that are just as valid to a mountain biker.

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